posted by
codi bennett
,
Oct 29, 2011
For a while I’ve been ‘off the map’ so to speak and with good reason. As children, we were well taught; ‘if you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all.’ Hence - my stillness. There’s a certain occurrence in a woman’s life that in my experience has the tendency to steal one’s personality and that occurrence just happened to befall this woman late this summer.
Pregnancy. [insert dramatic music]
On August 28 I discovered I was pregnant with baby number four and was able to give explanation to why I had been feeling so disconnected with myself, inexplicably nauseous and had yes, misplaced my personality.
I have good news; pregnancy doesn’t always shoplift ones disposition indefinitely - in my exposure to this creature of fallen nature it’s typically most disruptive of just the first few months - well known as the first trimester. I have officially broken the tape of the first trimester and graduated to phase two so am confidently regaining the reigns to my presence and temperament. And all the people said, “Amen”.
In light of my sabbatical from mass communication, updates, twitters, facebooks, blogs, extended phone conversations and held tongue (in effort to remain kind and creditable) I would like to commence an official update to apprise you of the recent happenings amongst the Bennett Tribe. I’ve learned through my brief and inexperienced path of blogging and writing that I have a tendency to be somewhat lengthy in my discourse so I have aptly chosen to distribute this update in a series.
Stay tuned.
-cjb-
posted by
codi bennett
,
Apr 25, 2011
 |
| my TOP TEN favorite parenting books… in no particular order |
I try really hard to ‘be a good mom’… but on my best day I’m still just a broken women trying to remain patient, be creative, set a healthy example for my children and maintain sanity all whilst I attempt to keep up with the laundry and make dinner. Of course the bible has been a tremendous resource in our adventure of teaching, training, raising and parenting our kiddies. In addition to the Bible I’ve found a few books [below] that have been great assets in navigating the world of motherhood. I’d
love to get your input if you’ve read these books and hear what you’re reading now and what tools have helped you along the way!
What’s your fave parenting book?
-cjb-
posted by
codi bennett
,
Mar 18, 2011
I think every day after surgery for probably a good 3 weeks I would show James something [on my body] and ask him if he thought it was ‘normal’. For some reason this intense paranoia set in and I thought everything that was anything had to be something! My doctor was somewhat reassuring, but also left it open-ended when he ‘reassured’ me by saying - “Codi, you’ve just been cut into - there is no “normal”.
I essentially spent the next several days in bed. I rarely ventured past my bedroom - and when I did I usually only made it to the kitchen. Thankfully one of our third year [ca]dre students, who has been an amazing support to our family this year, Laurie Hinson, came to stay with us. She did everything from get the kids up in the morning [or rather, they got her up] to making their meals [and mine] to my laundry and house cleaning. I am forever indebted to her unselfish service of our family during that time of recovery.
I had a number friends come visit, send flowers, send food, call, text, etc. It made me realize how much I value people caring for me. I’ve learned that I can have a tendency to appear to ‘have it altogether’ and by default give people the notion that I don’t need or want their help. That’s the farthest thing from the truth and couldn’t have been more false during this chapter of my life. I needed the warmth of my friends. I needed the encouragement of my mom. I needed the tenderness of my husband. I needed the experience of my sisters. I needed the laughter of my children.
I am so grateful for the friends and family the Lord has positioned in my life to remind me of Himself and draw me nearer His heart when I’m liable to drift.
I’ve been back to see both my dermatologist and surgeon twice now since the diagnosis and surgery. Each consultation has solidified the truth not only in my physical body, but in my sometimes apprehensive heart; I am healed. I do not have cancer. Cancer does not have me. The word says His Words are LIFE to those who find them and bring health to our actual physical beings.
Proverbs 4:22 – For they are life unto those that find them, and health to all their flesh. (KJV)
That’s the story. It feels good getting it all out there in the open. It’s a difficult thing to communicate because as soon as you drop the word ‘cancer’ into a conversation people get so somber and we all tend to think of it ending in death. So it’s not anything I’ve communicated much about because I want people to have context and not worry about me. I’m healthy. We are healthy. This definitely changed our outlook on some things in life and we are absolutely making some paramount changes in our lifestyles and nutrition, but most days we continue to carry on as if this never happened. I will update you of any developments but plan on that being a continued testimony of health.
-cjb-
posted by
codi bennett
,
Jan 24, 2011
The following morning Dr. Hudson educated us on skin cancer, the different types, the different stages and directed us in what our course of action was. I needed to have surgery that was out of his scope of practice. He contacted a surgeon who set up a consult with us and my introduction to the world of cutting began. I was scheduled for surgery the following week, on December 15.
Surgery. This leads to another opportunity for me to have great anxiety. Until this point I really haven’t had any sicknesses, major illnesses, or anything. I’ve only broken one bone and that was just 2 years ago [and the Lord miraculously healed it overnight]. Until Londyn was born in 2006 I had never been to the hospital for anything. I’ve never even had the chickenpox. Nothing. Nada.
I had so many questions and had to fight my urge to research till wee hours of the night and think I can analyze myself healed. I knew I needed to educate myself and learn about what was happening in my body, and that was okay. I also knew the course of the next week could be a major window for the enemy to introduce fear if I allowed it - and for me that meant not researching with my every spare moment. [Ha, thankfully I don’t have many ‘spare‘ moments anyway with the 3 littles.] We made the decision not to communicate anything [except for our close family and our senior pastors] until after surgery when we knew more. Because no one really knew my news it really helped me to go about life as normal that week and not focus on my worries.
Right before my surgery I met with a dear friend and confidant, Jill Hamilton. Jill has recently surmounted the mountain of miracle with cancer herself. God has shown Himself so faithful through her experience and I can’t help but think about all the ways He positioned her to be a strength to me. Jill is one of the most educated and researched people I know in the field of nutrition and health and she was no doubt, my strongest advocate in understanding my whole situation and preparing my heart for everything - from the surgery to the information...the recovery and the lifestyle changes I needed to make. I am forever grateful to Jill and thankful to God for Jill’s story.
I have two sister-in-laws that have also been in recent surgeries that were amazing supports to me. I used the term surgery virgin... because I was. Even though I hate, hate, hate that they had to be in circumstances that required surgery I’m confident the Lord used their situation in my life. I know often the Lord is asked WHY He allows such tragic circumstances to invade our lives. I’m sure He has a unique reason for each and every single one... He can do that - He is a sovereign God and sees all, knows all. For me, I define these tragic circumstances as equipping us to serve those around us. Even though Jill’s situation was the most terrible thing ever - perhaps in her whole life - God used it in mine. It was used for good. In spite of how unwelcome the circumstances were for my sisters, the Lord wrapped them up as a gift for me. I needed the ladies around me that were able to be empathetic to me. Don’t lose hope when the worst of the worst knocks at your door. It will knock at someone else’s and you’ll be able to guide them how to pray, what to say and offer them hope just as I was offered.
to be continued... [click here to start from beginning]
-cjb-
posted by
codi bennett
,
Jan 21, 2011
I was in shock. I was sure Dr. Hudson had dialed the wrong number. I was not sick. My body is healthy, I am healthy. I somehow was deeply deceived into believing I was invincible. Dr. Hudson was trying to tell me otherwise and on the inside of me, I refused to believe him. Nonetheless, I agreed James and I would meet with him first thing in the morning. Once off the phone I bluntly relayed to my husband the horrendous news: “Uummm, I have skin cancer.” [delicate, I know.] Of course, he was equally as shocked, however magnificently levelheaded.
James reached for my hand and dropped his head. He humbly directed both our attentions heavenward. Our living room transformed into a sanctuary and we simply talked to God. James spoke healing over me and we submitted my body to the sovereignty of our Creator. I began to sob [which isn’t a common occurrence for me] as I confessed my immense anxiety and hidden fears. I committed to release control of the situation and not worry about the process or outcome. I knew this would be the hardest part for me. Control is my specialty. [wink]
I don't recall these prayers to emerge heroic. Quite the opposite - I communicate this in all vulnerability. I was perplexed and disoriented how something so vile could be in my body. Apart from a few [tremendously] foolish years in the tanning bed, and dark chocolate addiction, I have always fostered good health. I work-out, take vitamins, eat my greens and [I thought] was fairly aware of health related risks and how to avoid them. Discernibly, I thus felt awkwardly challenged by this poison in my body. In that first moment of frailty I experienced my husband rise to a level of strength on my behalf that I don't know I would have been exposed to without a situation of this nature. It made me thankful. I am married to a very Godly man, and during those prayers and tears my husband's trust in God was laid bare and I was honored to be his wife and the subject of his fervent prayer.
Without James' leading it's quite likely I would have responded in intense fear and anxiety. It’s quite possible I would have spent hours, even that night, researching and Googling every possible form of cancer known to man. [Which absolutely would have increased my anxiety]. My husband's leading directed me to fall on God and trust His omnipotence and goodness through even Cancer.
to be continued... [click to continue]
-cjb-
posted by
codi bennett
,
Jan 13, 2011
My
expectations for the dermatologist appointment didn’t go beyond a once-over and a good reminder about sunscreen. I came prepared with my list of questions and presumed to be in and out in 30 minutes. In light of such expectations, I had not arranged for all my three kiddies to be elsewhere and so had my eldest, Londyn Aleise and the babe with me. Dr. Hudson looked me over and we had amusing banter about LSU and the Razorbacks. He had enlightening humor of our respected pastor,
Rick Bezet and it was all very light and going according to my predictions. At that moment it took an amusing turn. Dr. Hudson noticed a particular mole near my hip that he thought should be removed. [My honest thought: "whatever, doc."] My
expectation was that he would present me with my options for excising it, offer me to come back without my small children present and we would discuss a course of action. Nope. Rather than discussion, Hudson moved into action. He had me hop up on the table, donned just in a gown, might I add, and pumped me up with some local anesthesia. Suggesting to Londyn that she take a seat across the room, he whipped out a shiny scalpel and removed the menacing little mole. [See below to determine if you too have a likewise menacing mole!]
All the while, I'm doing my best to avert Londyn's curious eyes from the portentous procedure. After thoroughly cutting out the area, he proceeded to cauterize it - to which came the inquisitive young lady to my right, "Mommy, what's that smell!?" Of course, the scent to which little Londyn was being introduced was the aromatic fragrance of burning flesh. Poor girl must’ve been so confused and traumetized. Once the doctor finished and left the room, I quickly dressed myself and delicately attempted to explain to my innocent 4-year old why a strange man, not her father, was looking upon my bareness and giving me shots and using tools her innocent eyes had never seen. I think I managed fairly well to impede her suspicion of the intensely awkward encounter. Nonetheless, considering the black hole I was left with in place of my once natural tattoo [aka, the mole] we both got much more than we
expected.
to be continued... [click to continue]
-cjb-
