[an account of assurance]
part VII :: all out in the open…phew!
posted by codi bennett , Mar 18, 2011
I think every day after surgery for probably a good 3 weeks I would show James something [on my body] and ask him if he thought it was ‘normal’. For some reason this intense paranoia set in and I thought everything that was anything had to be something! My doctor was somewhat reassuring, but also left it open-ended when he ‘reassured’ me by saying - “Codi, you’ve just been cut into - there is no “normal”.
I essentially spent the next several days in bed. I rarely ventured past my bedroom - and when I did I usually only made it to the kitchen. Thankfully one of our third year [ca]dre students, who has been an amazing support to our family this year, Laurie Hinson, came to stay with us. She did everything from get the kids up in the morning [or rather, they got her up] to making their meals [and mine] to my laundry and house cleaning. I am forever indebted to her unselfish service of our family during that time of recovery.
I had a number friends come visit, send flowers, send food, call, text, etc. It made me realize how much I value people caring for me. I’ve learned that I can have a tendency to appear to ‘have it altogether’ and by default give people the notion that I don’t need or want their help. That’s the farthest thing from the truth and couldn’t have been more false during this chapter of my life. I needed the warmth of my friends. I needed the encouragement of my mom. I needed the tenderness of my husband. I needed the experience of my sisters. I needed the laughter of my children.
I am so grateful for the friends and family the Lord has positioned in my life to remind me of Himself and draw me nearer His heart when I’m liable to drift.
I’ve been back to see both my dermatologist and surgeon twice now since the diagnosis and surgery. Each consultation has solidified the truth not only in my physical body, but in my sometimes apprehensive heart; I am healed. I do not have cancer. Cancer does not have me. The word says His Words are LIFE to those who find them and bring health to our actual physical beings.
Proverbs 4:22 – For they are life unto those that find them, and health to all their flesh. (KJV)
That’s the story. It feels good getting it all out there in the open. It’s a difficult thing to communicate because as soon as you drop the word ‘cancer’ into a conversation people get so somber and we all tend to think of it ending in death. So it’s not anything I’ve communicated much about because I want people to have context and not worry about me. I’m healthy. We are healthy. This definitely changed our outlook on some things in life and we are absolutely making some paramount changes in our lifestyles and nutrition, but most days we continue to carry on as if this never happened. I will update you of any developments but plan on that being a continued testimony of health.
I’ll continue to blog about all the other randomness that crosses into my path, so stay tuned!
[click here to start from beginning]
[click here to start from beginning]
-cjb-
Amen Coj. I stand with you in praise, and am so thankful that I can cry now because you are okay, and not at the thought of loosing you. I love you.