the glamour fast
posted by codi bennett , Jan 24, 2012
To truly begin at the beginning we must all locate the branch and carefully follow it back to the network in which it stems from. As I follow this branch I start with a tree of inhibition in sight and trace it down to the broad trunk of insecurity. As my eyes visualize beneath the soil I am astounded by the extensive root system. This is the beginning. I take a closer look at what is feeding these roots - and in turn this entire tree, and I’m enlightened with discouragement as I realize how much I have allowed the nourishment of this vicious vulnerability of insecurity.
With the welcoming of 2012 I was letting the Lord know this was going to be a year of me regaining territory in my confidence. I was mentally cataloging all the ways I was going to walk in confidence and boldness. Assertive phone calls, facing confrontation, gutsy conversations, poised communication... the list goes on. I was bound and determined to assert myself in self-assurance to prove to you, to myself, and to God that I was an A-type personality and I had wrapped insecurity up, tied the bow tight and mailed that package to an unknown address - never to be discovered or returned to sender.
Gently as ever, I realized the Lord was cautioning me of my overzealous initiative and prompting me to rely on Him to navigate my way back to my confidence - rather than strong arm my path. I couldn’t believe how much I had missed it. How wrong the process would have been had I chosen to just coerce my way to confidence rather than allow the Lord to direct me and make a genuine heart change that reflected the certainty of who I was in Him.
I was filled with anticipation for 2012 and the thought of walking in a new security in who I was as daughter of the King - not just on my own ability.
For those of you that are in ARC Churches [or even if you aren’t] many of us launch each new year with a rhythm of prayer and fasting. Although I always seek the Lord on what I need to give up each year I will say there are some years I have fasted simply because it’s beneficial habit and I’m on board with what we are doing as a church. There are other years, such as this year that I feel uniquely compelled to examine my life and the upcoming year and prompt the Lord to assign me a fast that is specifically paralleled to the qualities He wants to mature in me.
As women it’s common for us to find our confidence [or lack thereof] in our appearance. If we are feeling insecure or unsure I find it prevalent that i [or maybe it is just me] tend to make up [no pun intended] the difference in our appearance so we can be assured we have at least one thing ‘going for us’. I am definitely subject to this weakness and over the years have dealt with the gamut of associated struggles and tendencies of an insecure woman, more concerned with her outward appearance than inward. Thankfully the Lord is quick to call me back. I am in a season of being called back... and the vehicle he’s using is our annual fast.
I’m labeling my fast a ‘glamour fast’ - I have cast aside all makeup, all makeup related tools, I have sworn off my CHI, I have abandoned my Conair blow dryer and curling iron and vowed to au-natural for these 3 weeks of the Awakening 2012 fast. At first I was afraid and dug my heals in - not wanting familiarize anyone with the ‘less-beautiful’ me. Now, after a week - I am absolutely L O V I N G it! Not only am I able to get ready in a flash, but I’m able to fuse myself with my true identity as I am - without the added “outward adornment” [1 Peter 3.3].
For more information on Fasting visit http://www.awake21.org.
In addition - I’d really love to hear what YOU’RE fasting and what you’re learning… I love learning from your experiences!
In addition - I’d really love to hear what YOU’RE fasting and what you’re learning… I love learning from your experiences!
Hopefully I’ll retain access to my blog and be able to let you in on what the Lord taught me through Proverbs 9 soon...
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